Sjedila sam i slušala njegove monologe. Odlučila sam da neću s njim spavati. Barem sam tako mislila… Nasmijao se i iznenada sam osjetila da mi ga je žao, a i meni je trebalo nešto…’

Tri žene iz Velike Britanije prisjetile su se svojih iskustava kada su s muškarcima spavale, ne zato što su one to željele, već iz nekih drugih razloga. Uglavnom iz osjećaja sažaljenja, prenosi Daily Mail.

Candida Crewe (54), spisateljica

Prije pet godina poznanik me je zamolio da se nađemo u baru. Nije mi se sviđao i postojali su svi znakovi koji su sugerirali da između nas neće biti ništa, ali sama sebe sam uvjeravala da moram biti otvorenog uma.

Možda se pitate zašto sam se zamarala time, ali bila sam u kasnim 40-im godinama i bila sam rastavljena pet godina. 

Iskusila sam niz neuspješnih pokušaja s mlađim muškarcima od mene pa sam ovaj put odlučila kako je vrijeme da izađem s nekime mojih godina. 

foto: Dreamstime

Stvar je u tome da za ženu to što je pristala s nekime izaći nije nužno pokazatelj međusobne privlačnosti. Često smo spremne muškarcu dati šansu ako ima trunku šarma. Uostalom, početni nedostatak iskre ne znači uvijek da se kasnije nešto pozitivno neće promijeniti u srcu.

Ipak, nema sumnje da je kontroverzno priznati kada takav izlazak vodi u spavaću sobu, kada još uvijek međusobne privlačnosti nije bilo. Htjele mi to priznati ili ne, mnoge žene znaju onaj osjećaj kada dopuste da situacija ode dalje nego što su željele, jer nisu bile posve sigurne.

Često to učine, svjesno ili ne, zbog svoje neodlučnosti, pristojnosti, usamljenosti, zbog osjećaja izmorenosti da se izvuče iz svega, a poneka i iz straha da ne izazovu ljutnju. Ponekad to naprave iz čiste znatiželje.

Takvi susreti se rijetko spominju u književnosti, u dramama pa čak i tijekom razgovora s prijateljima. 

Lorraine Hardy (38), socijalna radnica

Priznajem, spavala sam s muškarcima iz sažaljenja dok sam bila mlađa ili zbog čudnog osjećaja dužnosti. Sada sam u braku s Christopherom (49) i imamo dvoje djece, od šest godina i godine dana. 

Većinu svojih 20-ih godina provela sam u seksualnim odnosima koje zapravo nisam željela. Ja sam inteligentna, fakultetski obrazovana žena, a ipak sam se našla u situacijama u kojima nisam mogla reći “ne”. U takvim situacijama seks je bio više dužnost nego posljedica mojeg jakog libida.

Kupila sam prvu kuću kada sam imala 23 godine i morala sam angažirati financijskog savjetnika kako bi mi pomogao oko pripreme papira.

foto: Dreamstime

Mogla sam reći da me privlači, iako me definitivno nije privukao. Nakon što smo završili s dokumentacijom, pozvao me na večeru. Iako mi se nije sviđao, pomislila sam kako ga ne bi trebala odbiti. Osim toga, nisam željela izgubiti moju kuću.

Osjećala sam se tako loše, bilo mi ga je žao. Činilo mi se da se ne osjeća dobro sam sa sobom. Počeo je govoriti: “Razumijem zašto ti se ne sviđam… Zašto nikome nisam privlačan?”. Čak je i zaplakao. Možete pogoditi što je dalje bilo. Završila sam s njim u krevetu, ne zato što sam to željela, već iz sažaljenja.

Sjećam se kako sam bila u dugoj vezi kada sam imala 20-ak godina i kada mi se partner jednostavno prestao sviđati. Samopouzdanje mu se srozalo pa mi se činilo da, ako odbijem voditi ljubav s njim, da će skroz potonuti. Zato sam pristajala na seks, samo kako bi se on osjećao bolje.

Priznajem, ponekad se seksam i sa suprugom kada nemam želju. Ne želim povrijediti njegove osjećaje.

 

Jessica Bailey (46), poduzetnica

Vodim svoj posao i profesionalno sam uspješna, ali u odnosima s muškarcima taj uspjeh nekako izostaje. Bila sam u dvije duge veze u svojim 20-im i 30-im godinama i sada sam sretna što sam sama.

Broj seksualnih odnosa koji su se dogodili kada sam ja to zaista željela mogu nabrojati na prste jedne ruke. 

Obično sam završavala u krevetu s nekime jer mu nisam željela povrijediti osjećaje ili nekako nisam znala kako reći “ne”. Reći nekome “Priznajem, više mi se ne sviđaš” čini mi se previše brutalnim.

Kada je muškarac iskren, otvoren i ranjiv dok je s tobom, teško je samo prekinuti razgovor i odbiti intimnost.

Ono što se ženama sviđa ili ne kod muškaraca je toliko različito. Ono što je jednoj jako privlačno, drugoj je odbojno.

Shutterstock | Autor: Shutterstockfoto: Shutterstock

Moja prijateljica Chloe je jedne noći upoznala bivšeg boksača koji nije imao prednji zub. U jednom trenutku je pomislila koliko je to odvratno, a već u sljedećem joj je bio pravi muškarac i skroz cool. Završila je s njim u krevetu.

Ujutro se pitala što joj je bilo, gledala ga je pokraj sebe i nije joj nimalo bio privlačan. Nije to ponovila.

Sjećam se jednog svojeg izlaska s nekim tipom. Cijelu je večer pričao o svojoj majci. Nije bilo jače ili inteligentnije “dame” na cijelom planetu. Hvalospjevi o majci rijetko mogu biti afrodizijak.

 

 

Dok je govorio o njoj ili ženama općenito, stalno je upotrebljavao riječ “dame”, a što je više to ponavljao, ja sam bila sve manje zainteresirana. Sjedila sam i slušala njegove monologe. Odlučila sam da neću s njim spavati. Barem sam tako mislila.

Napokon smo napustili kafić, bilo je hladno pa nam je izlazila para iz ustiju dok smo govorili. Bili smo samo nas dvoje na cesti, u mraku, s mrvicu ulične rasvjete. 

Nasmijao se i iznenada sam osjetila da mi ga je žao, a i meni je trebalo nešto da me zagrije. Sjeli smo u auto i odvezli se do moje kuće.

Seks nije bio nešto, ali iskustvo nikako nije bilo skroz loše. Osjećala sam se dobro u toj hladnoj noći dok sam bila omotana oko njega i slušala mu otkucaje srca.

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  297. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Excellent work!

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  300. Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based on the same topics you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would value your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an email.

  301. Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is actually frustrating. A good blog with interesting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this website, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?

  302. I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering issues with your website. It appears like some of the text within your content are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them too? This might be a issue with my browser because I’ve had this happen before. Thanks

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  308. Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  310. Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based on the same information you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.

  311. Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips and hints for newbie blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

  312. Hey there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with? I’m going to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

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  321. Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish only about gossip and web stuff and this is actually irritating. A good blog with interesting content, that is what I need. Thanks for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?

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  323. Hello! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

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  328. Hey just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same results.

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  331. Greetings! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My web site looks weird when browsing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to correct this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share. Many thanks!

  332. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  337. I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues? A few of my blog visitors have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?

  338. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  359. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  361. Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any points for rookie blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

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  374. Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish just about gossip and web stuff and this is really frustrating. A good web site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for making this site, and I will be visiting again. Do you do newsletters by email?

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